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Take spousal relationship in a family, you would always find a reason to divorce unless you deliberately work at making it work. People who don’t mind divorce would always find a reason to do so and do it again because, while they seek convenience commitment keeps showing up!. It takes more…


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A family is to be seen as a mini-country founded and run on constitutional values. If this were the case, which of the countries in the world would you prefer your family to resemble? Take a statistic of the demand for foreign country’s visa in your home country and you won’t be surprised at how demands are skewed in favour of well developed climes or the so called first world countries. If you, your spouse or your child could be granted the visa to join another country (family) in pursuance of dual citizenship, would any of you jump at the opportunity? The objective answers to these questions are obvious. Everyone wants to live in a developed society because it holds the promise of high quality of life and enabling environments for easy fulfilment of human potentials.

How about developing your own family to the point where others would crave to be associated with it? Family development is the function of sound and perennial family education. The family as we all know consists of a husband (father), a wife (mother) and their children. At the foundation, a husband must perpetually learn how to be the best for his wife; a wife must also learn how to be the best for her man; the two must continuously blend to becoming the best couple and parents. Together they must learn how to raise excellent children and the children in return must apply themselves to becoming responsible citizens.

The problem with all of these is, we have long lived by and believe in default. But we need to know that biology is not destiny! Growth may happen to all living organism by default but development is intentional. The pasture looks greener on the other side because the citizens over there cultivate it deliberately. So, how are you cultivating your family?

Take spousal relationship in a family, you would always find a reason to divorce unless you deliberately work at making it work. People who don’t mind divorce would always find a reason to do so and do it again because they’re looking for convenience in a citadel guided by commitment. It takes more than what starts a relationship to sustain it. The two people involved must continuously learn and adjust until they become the best spouses to their mutual satisfaction, not as a reputation or "packaging". Read books, observe, ask questions and get answers, go for counselling, communicate with humility, pray, care, give, forgive, work,…

Do something always to be a better spouse, never ever think you are perfect. Even when you are right, it doesn’t mean your spouse is wrong, because you have different perspectives. It’s not difficult to make family work, it just takes learning and doing that never ends.

In part three of this series, I write about Developmental Indices, which are resultants of a progressive family education.

Read the final part


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