How to Deal With Bullying

A bully is an aggressive person who intimidates, oppresses, ridicules, or mistreats weaker people. Though a bully is not necessarily the stronger one but they abuse the perceived advantage they seem to have in hurting the feeling of others while reinforcing their own ego. There could be a one-off incidence with the resemblance of bullying, but a bully has the attitude habitually and is well known, not only to the victim but also to witnesses. Bullying exists among siblings, play group and in organizations. The most common type of bullying is the one that takes place at schools, especially at grade levels. Some people bully for fun, some because they like to be feared. Other children do so because they’ve either been a victim or a witness of bullying and they perceive it as the normal way of life. Whichever, we must understand that bullying is a behavioral mal-adjustment which must be stopped in order to help both the aggressor and the victim.

Is there someone around you who usually harass you, mistreat you, oppress you, make jest of you, or threaten to beat you? That attitude is called bullying. It is a bad attitude and you can prevail against it. You can also help other people to overcome it. You can stop that bully now! Following tips will show you how.

Develop a ‘Bully-proof’ Attitude
Just as a bullet-proof vest will not permit bullet to penetrate, a ‘bully-proof’ attitude will not allow bullying to penetrate your emotion. How do I mean? Choose your response deliberately. When a bully hurts you, they expects you to react by crying, becoming sad, hide your face in shame, returning abusive words, or getting aggravated. But between what a bully does (stimuli) and what you do back (reaction), there is a short moment in which you can decide to respond in a superior manner. When a bully expect you to cry but you burst into laughter instead, they become confused, they loose patronage among the audience, you are perceived to know better than them and your emotion is protected. By acting contrary to their expectation, they are left without the incentive to continue to treat you in such manner and ultimately become frustrated. One thing that can help you to effectively ignore a bully is being busy. When your mind and attention is engaged in a worthy pursuit, you would hardly have space to accommodate the hurtful feeing targeted at you.

Stay in the Position of Strength
You would need to fortify yourself against a bully. One of the ways you can do this is to walk with your friends. Never walk alone! Surround yourself with people of like minds who disregard the bully and are ready to treat him/her as a non-entity. You could as well associate with someone whom the bully respects, that person can protect you and help disarm the bully against you. Staying in the position of strength also means, you have to rise up to the occasion. If there is something ridiculous about you that the bully capitalizes on, and it’s an issue that you can do something about, you’ll do well to upgrade yourself. You may have to discover your unique strength and develop it, instead of putting up with criticism in the area of your weakness. However, if it is an issue that’s beyond your control, then talk to someone about it, your parent, teacher or guardian. Ensure you get in the position of strength, don’t stay vulnerable.

In Case of Emergency
What do you do when you are cornered? Run if you must! There are situations when all I have mentioned may seem not to work immediately, and you would have to use avoidance tactics. By all means, avoid crossing the path of a bully, even if you’re room mates, distinguish your space and items. Avoid getting physical because the bully may have a weapon. Defend yourself from been hurt, flee the scene and report to the authority. In case of verbal attack, you need to stand firm and speak boldly, countering the verbal assault with sound and sharp statements. Most times, bullies don’t survive a determined opposition.

It is important to have it in mind that bullying is an attitudinal defect which must not be allowed to fester. If nothing is done about it, it could lead to poor academic performance, poor self esteem and behavioral mal-adjustment among children. The effect can degenerate to depression, violent retaliation, even suicidal tendencies. A bully that is not curbed would grow up to become a tyrant and constitute a nuisance to the society. The values of love, kindness, mutual respect and equity are required among people to engender a progressive society. If you are not affected today, you or one of yours may be affected another day, so act to stop bullying, wherever you find one.

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