Dealing with a Toxic Boss

A toxic boss is first of all a person with the humanness common to all. The human nature can be very difficult to deal with at certain levels and circumstances. Sometimes, you wonder why a nice, kind and sweet colleague of yours begins to change their attitude the moment a little elevation is given from the current position. “Yeah, it’s normal!” Some would say, while some others would be like, “Common, that’s not ideal!” Why would you expect a person to maintain same attitude at a higher level as they were at subordinate levels? What are the possibilities of someone becoming a toxic boss?

Every position requires peculiar levels of responsibilities and discipline. When it comes to managerial levels; It is rather unfortunate if a manager lacks efficiency, intelligence and discipline to deal with pertinent challenges. Even quite obnoxious it is, if the boss transfers blame to someone else – subordinates, superiors or anyone else other than himself/herself.The ideal boss would take responsibility while helping his/her team members to individually and collectively succeed. However, most of us would at one time or the other in our life have to deal with a toxic boss.

Then, in such a case, can we say it is fair? Well, life is not fair! If it were, you who seems to have great efficiency, intelligence and sense of responsibility enough to deal with issues would not be subservient to a toxic boss; someone with obnoxious character.

People often say, “My work place is toxic” or “I have a toxic boss / bosses at work.” So if I may ask; where are the non-toxic people? I guess they are the sleeping giants in organisations. They are unwilling to brandish negative sanctions. They are not bossy! Therefore, toxic bosses steal the show. How do you expect not to have a toxic boss or workplace when most humans do not willingly obey instructions except measures of sanction are put in place? Most humans fear certain levels of sanction as it differ from one person to another. Kudos to Douglas McGregor for his theory X and Y in the field of management.

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Who then is a Toxic Boss?
He/she is simply a difficult or a bad boss who often feels the need to control every aspect of the employee’s work-life. They often question the ability of their subordinates; discourage them from making decisions; want to be involved in all correspondences as it must pass through them; and the list goes on. Can you relate with some of these traits of a toxic boss with regard to your organizations? Not exhaustive though. So, please, add to the list in the comment section below.

They are in every organization. It is important to know that no one is a born leader. A good leader is one who is always ready to learn, unlearn and relearn as no man is an island of knowledge. A good leader is one who takes feedback as an opportunity to improve on him/herself and not as mere criticism. Though we can’t rule out those that criticize every action and inaction of anyone around them, such persons forget how they look in the mirror once they look away. They are worse when an opportunity to lead is granted them. C’est la vie!!!

How Should You Relate with a Toxic Boss?

• Be professional: Every organization has its ethics, guidelines and procedures. Therefore, it is best to relate professionally with such people.
• Be Objective: In every interaction with such a boss, eye service is not advisable but be as objective as it relates to your work.
• Know your limits i.e never cross the line
• As much as possible, don’t be emotionally attached to such bosses as it hurts when expectations are not met.
• DO YOUR JOB efficiently and when you have a problem, try to seek advice professionally.
• Play the office politics to your own advantage if your organisation allows it but don’t engage in gossip. Those that speak ill of someone else with you will most likely speak ill of you with someone else when the weather changes
• Have a good blend of courtesy and boldness: You’re not going to leave the job for a toxic boss to ‘be’ unless you’re ready to move on. So, be assertive but respectful. Respond to queries in good faith. Don’t chicken out!

What if the Toxic Boss is the Sole Proprietor of the organisation?

This implies that the boss can sack you without query, DC or warning letter. Should you then lick his boot, to the detriment of your sanity? I don’t think so. Even though we are in a world of serious shortage of job opportunity and it would seem sensible to absorb anything from a toxic boss while looking out for a better place, there is something you can do.
Adopt a Win-Win Strategy: Be of immense value to the organisation and to yourself to the point that you’re that staff that is difficult to replace. This way, you’ll be in a good state to sack your boss whenever your opportunity comes. That good state implies that you can easily re-invent yourself when you resign.

Understand Your Boss: Especially if the toxic boss seems to be toxic to only you, not everyone. May be you’re also toxic somehow. Then make the necessary adjustment. The key is to have the capacity to learn, unlearn or relearn as situations require.

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