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Teenage Heartbreak – How to Protect Yourself

Heartbreak is a truncation of emotional connection accompanied by grief or an overwhelming mental anguish. It is consequent upon a number of situation as, when a loved one dies; when a loved or trusted one disappoints; when expectations are not met. Heartbreak is associated with a deep sense of loss and disappointment. The brain is held in a confused state, torn in-between the thoughts of still having the person you love and that of having lost them. A part of you wants to reflect and relish the good moments you share with the person while another part of you is calling your attention to the effects of the loss. In the process of traversing between denial and acceptance, your body system experience hormonal imbalance that stresses the blood vessels and put pressure on the heart. This may lead to temporary pain in the chest region, headache, insomnia, sobbing, depression and so on.

This post was inspired by a heart-moving discussion I had with one of my younger friends, a teenager. She lamented that life has not been fair to her when it comes to relationship matters. She decided to give love another chance after experiencing break-up with her former boy friend a while ago. unfortunately, she was let down again. In her own words, she said, "this person destroyed my heart on my birthday! I am still trying to pick up but it’s been hell. I don’t think it’s worth it to love again"

Humm! I understand how painful it feels because I’ve been there before. One just need to be patient, allow sometimes to develop strength to overcome the hurtful feeling. It’s going to be fine! The person who broke your heart does not deserve to have it. He/she may seem so good but the fact that he/she disappoints you means a better one is available. You can accelerate your healing process by taking to interesting activities and enjoying the company of friends. While you go about your normal studies as due, you may also invest your spare time in learning something new or volunteering in a group of your dream. Although, no one is immune to heartbreak, and most of us would experience a form of it at one time or the other, as teenagers, heartbreak is too much and unnecessary a burden that you should not add to your school load. The following tips could help you to avoid being in such a devastating situation.

Understanding True Love and Determining If You Are Ready for It.

You mentioned in your letter that you don’t think it’s worth it to love again. I understand, it’s because all you see around you proofs to be fake and pretense. Well, fake is a copy of the original, pervasiveness of fake attests to the existence of genuine love. However, because you’re still in your teens, let me try to describe what love is and what it’s not. Love is not as simple as it’s depicted in movies or in novels. It is more complex than the feel good attribute of romantic seasonals.

Love is a sacrifice – when you agree to love someone, it connotes you don’t mind ‘loosing yourself’ in the process.

Love is a commitment – not a convenience, because it’s going to place a lot of demand on you.

Love is being objective – it’s not just a feeling that comes on you and you could not sleep. Whenever you cannot separate feeling from objectivity in relating with someone, it’s a mere infatuation. Love demonstrate a great deal of emotional maturity, which is doing the right thing irrespective of your feeling.

Love is a responsibility – It means, to give, to care and to help. To be responsible means to bear the consequences of your action. There is consequence for every action, including sex. Are you ready for responsibilities?

Love is complex – it takes more than love to sustain love, that is why divorce rate is on the increase. People starts from what seems to be love but in a short while they break-up because there is no sustenance.

Love is a decision – decision involves your reasoning faculty; you think clearly; you know what you’re doing; you’re not crazy.

Love is not sex – otherwise, prostitutes would be in love and not in the trade. Sex is just an aspect of love, ask the married people. But I understand your hormone is raging, you have to learn how be in control. That’s the difference between humans and animals, you have a good sense of judgment, purpose and direction, your hormone is not in control, you are!

Love resembles lust – lust can’t wait to get but love can wait to give. You’d often hear, “if you really love me, you will proof it.” That is the language of lust. Love is not touching, feeling, romancing, smooching, kissing or sexing. True love wants to see you blossom into a responsible adult, he or she also want to be committed, responsible, and ready to sacrifice their conveniences. So true love would not mind to wait till that time, but lust wants to have you now.

Where am I going with all those description? I’d like you to adjudge yourself, as a teenager, are you really ready for love now? By a witty estimation, we could easily conclude that a teenager does not have the capacity for relationship/marital love. He/she is not ready for commitment, dedication, sacrifice, decision that’s required. A teenager is not matured enough to combine the burden of love with that of schooling. Maturity must be attained in the areas of financial, emotional, social, spiritual, physical, and psychological before someone could be said to fully understand what love is. So the next time someone comes around saying he/she loves you, run for your heart because he/she can’t be serious. Even, yourself could sincerely feel you are in love with that person but if you examine the complexities of true love, you’ll discover, you can’t be serious. But if you think you are, the only proof would be that you don’t mind waiting till both of you reach maturity and follow the due process.