For instance, starting and maintaining discussion with the opposite sex; participating in a debate competition; facing an audience, asking questions in your class; giving advise to a superior; expressing your opinion clearly when you are questioned; embarking on a challenging project or task; and the likes may be critical moments that trigger a feeling of inadequacy…
What comes to mind at the mention of the word, ‘circumstance’ is about external factors, but self esteem is an internal circumstance. That internal circumstance is the one, responsible for whether you’ll rise up to challenges or shrink away from it. Self esteem is walking in consciousness of who you are and what you can do. It is acting in the awareness of your hope of becoming greater and handling higher aims in life. Self esteem can be either high or low. It can also be said, that you have good self esteem or you lack self esteem. how you view yourself; the opinion you have of yourself; the worth you attribute to yourself; the image you hold about yourself; your dominant thought about yourself; all these describes self esteem. It affect the way you move, carry or present yourself.
Your self esteem determines your disposition. Noble aims and aspiration flood your mind now and then but you wonder, why the holding back? Low self esteem or lack of it is a huge inertia force which inhibits its victims from making those efforts that hold the promises of progress to the next levels. Low self esteem makes you disbelieve in you, and your potentials. Low self esteem is a plague that every upwardly hopeful teenager must conquer as soon as possible. On the other hand, good or high self esteem enables you to believe in you and your potentials.
How to Identify Low Self Esteem
Low self esteem is cancerous in the sense that, it doesn’t hurt anyone out there but it’s eating away into the character cell of its victim. Except that, most people live in denial, it’s very easy to identify the symptomatic indicators of this malady. Firstly, insecurity: the feeling of inadequacy and need to protect your vulnerability. Insecure people will do anything in their capacity to avoid being criticized. Those at the lower class may use avoidance, while those at the middle and higher class may use intimidation as defense mechanism in checking their exposure to challenging situations. Secondly, timidity: low self esteem is a cause of lack of confidence.
Timidity is the lack of courage to face worthy endeavors that’s rapped in the risk of embarrassing outcomes. The timid feels looming embarrassing outcomes, and retreats. The timid feels he/she does not deserve to be loved. Thirdly, Passiveness: reluctance in taking decision or action, when rising up to challenges is required, is a symptom of low self esteem. Although, passiveness is an attribute of introversion, everyone with good self esteem is never passive in the face of challenging opportunities. Passiveness in asking for help or demanding your rights because you feel you don’t deserve it is a symptom of low self esteem.
Causes of Low Self Esteem
There is no smoke without fire. Wherever you see poor self esteem in action, some factors serve as breeding ground. These include, social factors: social factors responsible for low self esteem entails, upbringing and societal culture. It is the sum total of the environment in which an individual grows up. Elements in such environment include the family background, the community, and the prevailing custom in the society in which a child is raised. If the parents and community people that surround a child suffer low self esteem, the child will most probably suffer the same malady as he/she grows up. This is because family and societal culture must rub off on the citizen through social learning process.
The other factor responsible for low self esteem is ignorance. Either advertently or otherwise, ignorance of who you are and what you can do would cause you to think and act below installed capacity. Lastly, low self esteem could be caused by psychological factors. Psychological issues might result from traumatic experience such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse, demise of loved one, bully, criticism by authority figures and so on.
Keys to Building A Winning Self Esteem
Every problem has a solution, no matter the level of esteem maladjustment you are dealing with, you can make a 360 degree transformation now. Following are 7 keys to consider.
- Underscore the Need for Good Self Esteem: You are transformed by the truth that you process within yourself. It starts from identifying the need that you can be a better you. Most people live in denial, though they know something is wrong, they rather feel content. So its not enough to know things aren’t right with your esteem quality, you should convince yourself that you need to improve.
Upgrade Your Thinking: No one can act better than the level of their thinking per time. You would have to change those distorted thought you have about yourself. Start to think of yourself as a unique individual. You rank highest in the classes of creatures. You are a product of the supreme intelligence. Your body is a composite of several biological, chemical and technological wonders. Seven billion plus people in the world and no one else is exactly like you. There are no two people with the same combinations of finger prints. The knowledge of this peculiarity should influence the quality of your thought or opinion of yourself.
The next time you feel, you are not at par with others or inadequate for a task, quickly impose a superior thinking on that feeling. There is nothing you can’t handle! You may require a little more time to prepare, but you are not incapable. Even if you can’t do a particular thing at optimum level, there is an area of unique competency in you, the discovery and honing of which will make you hard to match.
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