For instance, starting and maintaining discussion with the opposite sex; participating in a debate competition; facing an audience, asking questions in your class; giving advise to a superior; expressing your opinion clearly when you are questioned; embarking on a challenging project or task; and the likes may be critical moments that trigger a feeling of inadequacy…
Identify the Source of Poor Self Esteem: Causes of low self esteem was discussed earlier, it behooves you to identify where you picked it from. Is it from the family background, community culture, believe system or your ignorance. Knowing this would enable you to come up with the most pertinent measure to ameliorate the issue.
Related post: How To Build A Winning Self Esteem (Part One)
Understand Critical Moments: Critical moments as regards low self esteem are the stimuli which call your self worth to question. They are either internal or external circumstances, when your sense of importance is challenged. They are situations that trigger a feeling of inadequacy in you. These serve as the occasions you’ll need to rise up to. Once you are able to face the situation, change is inevitable.
For instance, starting and maintaining discussion with the opposite sex; participating in a debate competition; facing an audience, asking questions in your class; giving advise to a superior; expressing your opinion clearly when you are questioned; embarking on a challenging project or task; and the likes may be critical moments that trigger a feeling of inadequacy. Knowledge of this gives you the opportunity to take proactive measures in facing those moments, and accumulate experience that would culminate in mastery.
- Make the Necessary Adjustment: Self improvement is the largest room in the world. Even the one with healthy self esteem still has room for improvement. You have to keep making necessary adjustment till you gain mastery of those situations that unsettle your mind. At the beginning, you may need to observe, study reference materials or understudy your role models. Go further if you may, rehearse and practise. Then you have to show up! Rise up to the occasions, embrace challenges like a champion. You may fail, you may be embarrassed, it’s OK, do it again, do it better, something is shifting within you, and you will soon be on top.
- Find Your Strength: There is no point striving with fish in the act of swimming, if you are a bird. Find your own strength and flourish in it. You may not have the speaking prowess that qualifies you to represent your school in debate competitions, but, can you do quiz, sport, artistic, or scientific competition? There is something you can do better than others, it’s your own area of competence, find it and stop focusing on your weakness. Don’t feel threatened while others are doing their best at what they do best, rather, clap for them and invite them to your own show.
- Develop and Discharge Your Strength: Once you have discovered your strength, develop it into skill. Be on the look out for platforms to discharge your competences. If there is no platform, create one. Stick with your strength till you become a specialist. By this time, you would have forgotten what it means to suffer from low self esteem. The confidence you acquire in the mastery of your area of competency could be featured in the area of your weakness. Even if you don’t turn up optimally in the area of your weakness, you can smile it off and move on with confidence.
Remember the moment. when Dani Alves peeled the banana thrown at him during Barcelona’s 3-2 win against Villarreal. That is an epic example of someone with healthy self esteem. He knew that while he couldn’t do anything about his skin colour, he is by no means inferior to anyone, so he bit the sweet banana and played on, unperturbed. Achieving great feats in life requires good self esteem, and I see you getting it!
Hope this is helpful.
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